did I ever tell you guys about how when I moved into my first apartment my dad’s move-in present for me was this bomb tee-ball bat that’s fuckin legit as hell and bright pink and hello kitty themed?
he gave it to me and said
“this is just so that if anyone ever tries to mess with you, after you’ve kicked their ass you can stand over them and knock their lights out and the last thing they’ll see is the cute and unforgiving face of hello kitty”
a+ parenting folks